TATOO'S

a pair of my
tattoo designs

MY TAKE ON "BATMAN"

this complex film brings to mind the "AA" speech by Dexter, wherein he expresses his dark passenger persona to an audience that is interpreting this speech through their own filtering consciousness'....
some object to the fillm's length, but i felt that Nolan would have preferred a 3 hour film in which he might further deflesh his corpse of shadows.... Perhaps that will come with the "extended version" on DVD/BLURAY, later.........Ledger has produced another Icon of Darkness on the obverse of Batman's mirror to subjective motivation and frustrated longings for a beautiful world that, increasingly, is not that of Gotham.......

PANDORA

so, who's my favorite actress.......that depends on the moment, i suppose; however, my memories of Louise Brooks fill me with great emotion. Her silent film appearances are so full of subtlety and finesse when most of the acting done by major filmstars was so over-the-top and still a product of popular theater.........her films are not in wide release and are seldom shown in this country........."PANDORA'S BOX" is my favorite.

GIVE IT A BREAK, VERISTES

I'VE BEEN TRAPPED IN A NET OF SERIOUSNESS, AND AM SO CRITICAL OF OTHERS' MAKING LIGHT OF IT......I THINK IT MAY BE IN MY BEST INTEREST TO PUT AWAY MY COPY OF "ORDET" OR "WOLVES OF KROMER"AND WATCH "THERE'S SOMETHING ABOUT MARY" OR "A FISHCALLED WANDA"....TO CHANGE MY PERSPECTIVE A BIT....
AND RELEASE SOME ENDORPHINS IN TEARS OF STUPID LAUGHTER!

SIGNS

 

young, and unconscious of repressed emotions,
certain cells of comics stick in one's memory.
it seems so obvious what they mean.....later..
emerging consiousness is denied to so many,
nevertheless, who play out their lives with
little comprehension of their real identity..
like masked figures relating to other masked figures...
Few really want to see the secret identities,
trapped in the shadows of longing and desperation.

NO ONE SEEMS TO HAVE ANY IDEA

about what type i am attracted to......
now you know........

MY ONLINE HOROSCOPE

THE "READING"

Selfish people might be embarrassed by you. While they're using their time and energy almost exclusively on themselves, they see you giving time to others, and your kindness puts them in a bad light. They would prefer to blame you for their shortcomings and lack of compassion for others and, out of fear, are quick to ostracize you......

Maybe they'll think you're a phony, that you use your altruism to get others indebted to you so they'll then owe you a favor. Or perhaps they'll accuse you, directly or behind your back, of focusing on the needs of others so no one ever focuses on your foibles or your genuine wounds. If you can be seen in an unfavorable light......then they won't have to feel so disgusted by their own pitiable lives.....

All of these are false accusations; yours is a genuine compassion, because you truly have a tender and compassionate heart. One criticism might be more substantial, though. People might notice when you let things get out of balance and spend so much time responding to others that you neglect your own needs and fall into despair....

Perhaps it's true to some extent that you are more comfortable when the focus is on someone else's needs than when you and your needs are front and center, and this may be a criticism worth paying attention to.

DRAFTS, NOT SENT.......

GOOD MORNING.....IT WAS WITH SUCH OVERWHELMING ANXIETY THAT I, RELUCTANTLY, ATTENDED NANCY'S PARTY......IT WAS THE PROPER THING, FOR SHE WOULD HAVE BEEN UPSET, HAD I NOT.......UNEXPECTEDLY, HOWEVER, I ENJOYED THE EVENING.......I WAS CONTINUALLY TRAPPED, AS WERE YOU, BY NANCY'S GIANT GAY FRIEND, FROM MERIDIAN, WHO WAS REALLY CHECKING YOU OUT.....I DELIBERATELY MADE NO GESTURE TO INTRODUCE YOU, AS I COULD NEITHER REMEMBER HIS NAME OR SAW ANY ADVANTAGE TO YOU IN DOING SO....FINALLY MADE IT PAST THE FOOD TROUGH, BEYOND WHICH I HAD MADE SEVERAL EFFORTS TO GO, WITHOUT SUCCESS.....I GAVE, BY MISTAKE, A GIFT THAT HAD BEEN ORIGINALLY DESIGNATED FOR YOU.....TO STEVE .......HE WILL ENJOY IT.....AND IT WAS HARDLY IMPORTANT......A PAIR OF ANTIQUE SOCK GARTERS...THAT EITHER OF YOU WOULD ENJOY, ACTUALLY.....HARDLY A NECESSITY, ANYWAY......YOUR NAME WAS WRITTEN ON THE PACKAGE....SO, WHO KNOWS WHERE IT WILL, INEVITABLY RESIDE....IN YOUR SMALL, GOLD-EMBOSSED MOROCCAN LEATHER GARTER BOX OR STEVE'S.......JOHNNY WAS EXCEPTIONALLY POLITE TO ME...WHICH WAS GOOD, AND STEVEN WAS AS GLAD TO SEE ME, AS I WAS GLAD TO SEE HIM.........DAMAGE ACCESSMENT AND EVALUATION ARE STILL BEING PROCESSED...........

I have reread your blog entry "escape from......." again. Are you stating that the desires of mortals (is there any other type--like "immortals") are at the "mercy" of some abstract entity? then you state that it does not matter to which one we subscribe, which seems to imply that we SHOULD subscribe to something or somenotthing entity as long as we maintain the altar we have chosen........see what I'm getting at? There's still this thick layer of DOGMA to deal with. "WE"? Who is your congregation? Is this an internal monologue? I had hoped that you would reply with some clarification of your Doctrine, which I see as the Commandments of the anthropomorphic GOD, carved in stone tablets, because I would very much like to understand how you think, and about what you think. The implication is that "WE" are accountable to GOD, perhaps. Anyway, I am confused by the imagery and the concepts, or rather the precepts, utilized here. Strike what? Is this a war? If so, with whom. Am I calling to the wind? This little paragraph is the only formal entry that I may respond to, so I am doing so, in an attempt to develop a meaningful relationship with you. It seems that I am continually offending you with my candor. Should we maintain a relationship at safe distance, filled with polite references, uncertainty and cloaked meaning? If so, tell me that you would be more comfortable with this and I will make an effort to oblige this request. Or perhaps I should not importune you, for the reponse is always a silence that does not bear well for my confidence in our friendship. Your mother admitted that she had suggested that you not respond to my "rudeness". I disagreed. You and I have not yet discussed this. Silent indignity is the curse of the emotionally restrained starving class, but this attitude does not honor a noble spirit, but is more emblematic of the inequitable nature of a self-assigned mortal and self-righteous spirit. Are you acting under orders? Confused, Confabulated and Contiguous. Lest the Dragons's teeth bring warriors, 'tis better to sow dandeleons than thistles.




I must assume that you are offended by my emails from the emotional high-risk zone, where the cards are on the table, face up. when the hands are concealed, I do not breast my cards as my partner or an opponent walks by. I feel slighted by your incommunicativeness. Formal pleasantries are for another type. good day, mr. Soanso, how are you? Fine, I hope. - unsolicitous of a genuine reply.- And your dog or cat or bird or offspring or dying relative or --we haven't spoken in so long--is the "S" key still stuck on your keyboard? ....Well, I've never fulfilled other's sense of MY obligation for proper social interaction--yeah, sure. if the words are neat as a perfect orb, look under the bed or in a closed drawer. is that less real than a folded kerchief placed in a seldom-worn tuxedo to have handy for the princess with a runny nose at the party one will be invited to if the cards are played right---just don't trump your partner's ace.
The price of catering to other's implied or implicite requirements is, for me, outside the parameters of a realistic world. Since we seldom see one another, telephone and e-mail or chat or whatever are the only accessible forms of communication. You have not attempted to communicate your feelings about anything whatsoever, so, aside from discussing movies that are out There or music, which is out There......get my gist? as the Cheshire Cat asked, "WHO, ARE, YOU?"
(The chief difficulty Alice found at first was in managing her flamingo: she succeeded in getting its body tucked away, comfortably enough, under her arm, with its legs hanging down, but generally, just as she had got its neck nicely straightened out, and was going to give the hedgehog a blow with its head, it WOULD twist itself round and look up in her face, with such a puzzled expression that she could not help bursting out laughing: and when she had got its head down, and was going to begin again, it was very provoking to find that the hedgehog had unrolled itself, and was in the act of crawling away: besides all this, there was generally a ridge or furrow in the way wherever she wanted to send the hedgehog to, and, as the doubled-up soldiers were always getting up and walking off to other parts of the ground, Alice soon came to the conclusion that it was a very difficult game indeed.

and the moral of that is--Be what you would seem to be--or if you'd like it put more simply--Never imagine yourself not to be otherwise than what it might appear to others that what you were or might have been was not otherwise than what you had been would have appeared to them to be otherwise.)

Would you rather receive a jar of candied kumquats or a boxed set of Monteverdi cd's, or a Bible with some relative's name in gold leaf? Or a photo of my great, great uncle's beloved dog, Lucifer. Under the avodire veneer is the wood that built the first ancestor's cabins. If you prefer petits fours with crooked pinkies and tea so rare that the hoi polloi can't taste it, just place your order, and I'll try to find a waiter.

THE DARK PASSENGER

Yesterday, i drove to the local Imax to see THE DARK KNIGHT.....my companion for this outing grew perturbed, began weeping, and bolted from her seat, leaving the theater.......Since we had driven in her vehicle, I was stranded....many miles from home.......an hour and half later, she appeared, looking very excitable and disturbed and was quick to demonstrate her anger and resentment, directing much of this toward me......on our half hour trek home, she refused to speak and shouted at me when i attempted to initiate conversation or ask how she felt.......
The Nolan film jarred me too! But her condition was so extreme! This morning she spoke, "telling" me how dreadful the film was and that no one should see it! Mama Mia! is more her fare........Of course, I viewed her as an hysteric with deeply repressed anger, which is a correct observation, since I have known her for 40 years........When she called me this morning to disparage the Batman film, I mentioned this episode from DEXTER............whereupon, she slammed the telephone down, thus perpetuating her simple, but effective denial mechanism......
Years ago a group of friends was at a local beerhall where many were smoking.....this same friend grew so upset that people were smoking that she ripped the tablecloth, with our drinks, snacks, AND ashtrays, from the table.....everything crashing to the floor.....and stormed off into the night.........another time, a group of friends went to the local Cinerama to see 2001; after the film, she insisted that we go home a particular way.....when we outvoted her in regard to our itinarary, she bolted in a horrific fit and disappeared.......to do it her way........there are hundreds of other examples of her doing this sort of thing.........you'd think she'd remove her blinders and see what's happening.......alas, that is not the case!

A.O. Scott of the N.Y. Times


just hated MAMA MIA!...........not me!
it was lots of fun, and i left the theater
in great, high spirits........he felt this way
after REPULSION, i guess.......ha ha!

when away from Scarlett and Rudie,

(i mentioned the new afro....and with a souvenir mardi gras
necklace) Woodman's spinning a copy of Purple People Eater.

xmas 1007

at leonora's
with a blue paper
crown......looking
rather mad....

THE EXPRESSIONIST PAINTING

in the kitchen just vanishes into all the stuff around it.....
yet, it is so bold and vibrant and colorful.....i don't even
remember who painted it.....pechstein, schmidt-rottluff,
or some other artist from the 40's whose name i can't
remember the spelling of?

DAVID AND GOLIATH

so appetizing.......a bronze of David,
having severed the head of Goliath,
and resheathing his bloody sword....
he's so beautiful, yet many of my
friends have never noticed him....

PIANO ART

I'm running out of room on the piano.....
family and friends are covering it's closed
lid......is this a universal trait of mankind...
to cover pianos with sentiment?

ELECTRONIC TOYS

some home have roaches running about,
i have lots of strange, moving, talking, dancing
laughing, light-emitting, grunting, chortling, mewing
and barking gadgets, placed under furniture and
wherever else they end up after running into
walls and barriers.....they're much friendler than
"pinhead", aren't they?

SCARLETT, ROOTIE, AND WOODMAN

MY OLD ROOTIE KAZOOTIE DOLL KEEPS COMPANY WITH MOTHER'S SCARLET O'HARA DOLL AND THE OLD JOINTED WOODEN POSER THAT I USED IN HIGH SCHOOL.....I JUST FOUND A GREAT AFRO FOR WOODMAN POSER....SO HE'S NOT SO STARK NOW!

SUPERSTITUOUS?

 

maybe, when i was a child who wouldn't step on cracks in the pavement;
however, now i keep an open ladder vaulted above the stone steps in
the garden.....and am amused by those who toss spilled salt over their
shoulders, avoid the paths of black cats, engage in prayer to imaginary
dieties....and the list goes on forever....gotta go....the cat has
provided some conjuring entrails for my examination......

John's Plantgift

at least 25 years ago, my friend John Herrmann
brought me this potted plant, from Florida....
still beautiful, the plant, now a bit lop-
sided, lies almost upon it's side, supported
by an antique chinese stand with its bottom
removed....i can't bear to repot it because
the planter is bulbous and would have to be
broken......it seems perfectly happy growing
in this oblique, top-heavy manner; and i must water
the plant with a tablespoon because the pot
is so packed full of greenery.......tending
house and garden plants is and has always, for
me, been a labor of Love.....I like to take
care of living things......when winter arrives
i can barely move around in the house full
of green.....then, until the birds return, the
plants are content with the stereo.....they
seem to respond to beautiful music....years
ago, i saw a movie....."The Kirlian Witness"....
which substantiated my botanical attitudes......

THE KRAKEN

 

fear calls the beast from the depths of memory;
it surfaces to consiousness,
then returns to the abyss,
sucking the dreamer into the vortex
of its returning......
the sea is calm......
the nightmare is again forgotten........

MY PALM IS TO THE EARTH

Thinking of Alison's death,
Reminded of my own mortality,
Scrutinizing the lines upon my hands,
As many as the stars i can see
On a moonless night,
I feel eerily at ease.....
breathe.....out........

Temple of the Invisible by Robert Rich

Alison

 

we met when she moved to town
with her friend, and mine...
jerry.......there is much to
ponder, here, i think...
many knew Alison, each in their
own way....and in hers......
just a week before her death,
she visited the cabin, told
me that she couldn't decend
the rocks to the outdoor shower.....
i thought she must really be out of shape...
a few days later, she was dead!

C'MON, LET'S GO!

 

MY first car, a convertable, no less...
my grandfather died, many years later,
and was found in this very seat........
collapsed over the steering wheel......
He kept the car in a garage at the end
of a curved driveway.....on either side
of the driveway entrance were gothicy
stone pillars, surmounted by reflecting
balls....a popular fashion at the time
the house was built.......I think I'm waiting
for someone to join me.....probably, Daddy
and Uncles John or Earl....perhaps the
identical twins, my red-headed aunts by
my grandfather's second marriage....

CHARLENE AND CINDY ON TEETER ROCK

 

I HAD JUST RECEIVED, ON MY BIRTHDAY,

A SET OF MARSHALL'S TRANSPARENT OIL

COLORS FOR TINTING B/W PHOTOS....SO

I WENT TO TOWN....THIS WAS THE FIRST

OF THE TINTED PHOTOS......I OFTEN

DREAMT THAT THE ENTRANCE TO ANOTHER

WORLD LAY BENEATH THIS BIG ROCK.....

DRYDOCKING

 

I HAVE NO IDEA WHERE THIS WAS TAKEN.....
DADDY, UNCLE PAUL AND I.. A FISHING
BOAT ON THE BANKS OF OF NOWHERE,
SURROUNDED BY GILLIONS OF WATERLILIES.
THAT WOULD HAVE SUITED ME, FOR THE
ROCKING OF BOATS IN WATER, RIDES AT
THE COUNTY FAIR, EVEN SITTING IN THE
BACK SEAT OF A CAR WOULD ALWAYS MAKE
ME VOMIT AND GET A "TEMPERATURE'....I
LOOK PRETTY HAPPY IN THE MOTIONLESS
BOAT......

COTILLION TIME

 

9TH GRADE.....THE SOCIAL SCENE IN HUNTSVILLE....AT THE HOTEL RUSSELL ERSKINE WHERE, ONLY A WEEK BEFORE, I HAD SEEN TALLULAH BANKHEAD IN A PEWTER-GRAY METALLIC EVENING GOWN...WITH NO UNDERGARMENTS.......THIS LITTLE BALL AND PREPARATORY FOR THE "BALL OF ROSES" IN BIRMINGHAM.... WAS AN EVENT THAT I ALWAYS EAGERLY ANTICIPATED...MY DATE, THE BEAUTIFUL ALICE BRIGMAN, AND I...OF COURSE. BY THE WAY, I'M NOT THE ONE IN THE WHITE JACKET OR THE ONE WITH A NECKTIE....THEY'RE JIMMY STUMP AND THOMAS RYAN.....THOMAS' DATE WAS THE RED-HAIRED SHARON McMAHEN, WHO...IN ADDITION TO DOING A GOOD RHUMBA...PLAYED THE OBOE.....AND I ACCOMPANIED HER ON PIANO....THE BRUNETTE IN THE OFF-THE-SHOULDER GOWN AND LONG GLOVES WAS ANDEA LITTLE.  ALICE ALWAYS WORE THE MOST GLAMOROUS GOWNS.....I ALWAYS WORE

A HANDKERCHIEF.....MY GRANDMOTHER THOUGHT IT WAS VERY IMPORTANT TO BE PREPARED FOR DROPS AND SPILLS.....LOOK WHERE ALICE ASKED ME TO PIN HER CORSAGE! SUCH WERE THE THRILLS OF FOURTEEN YEAR OLD ME........THE VERY NEXT WEEK, I KNEW THAT I HAD BECOME AN ADULT......FOR AS I WAS WAITING ON MISS IRENE, THE TAP, BALLROOM, ACROBATIC, AND TOE INSTRUCTOR......GAZING, NEAR-SIGHTEDLY INTO THE TINY DIAMOND IN MY FIRST "EVENING RING", AN

OVAL BLACK ONYX SET WITH A MINISCULE DIAMOND, IN PLATINUM.....WATCHING

THE FRONT ENTRANCE LIGHTS REFLECTED INTO ETERNITY, I SAW, BY CHANCE.....

THROUGH THE HEAVY CURTAINS THAT COVERED THE TALL WINDOWS.....MISS IRENE,

BRUSHING THE FLOOR LENGTH HAIR OF MISS ALTA TROUTMAN....."SOMETHING'S

HAPPENING, AND YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT IT IS, DO YOU ......MR JONES?"

I WAS STILL A SWEET, PROTECTED BOY, I GUESS........MABRY MILLER AND

I WON THE VIENNESE WALTZ CONTEST, COMPETING WITH MARILYN ELLIS, ANOTHER

GIRLFRIEND OF MINE AT THE TIME, AND BOBBY VAN VALKENBURGH, MY ARCH

RIVAL FOR DANCE KING....

PAINT BY NUMBERS

 

WAS A FASHIONABLE WAY TO FILL A CHILD'S IDLE HOURS.
CONFORMING TO A PRESET DESIGN, FIXED COLORATION AND
THE 50'S CONFORMISM......STAY WITHIN THE LINES.....
CAREFULLY!....AND USED THE COLORS, DESIGNATED BY
NUMBERS PRINTED ON THE CANVAS! I DID SEVERAL OF
THESE, PLEASING MY PARENTS WITH THIS QUIET, INTRO-
SPECTIVE ACTIVITY.......HOW DID I GET TO THIS PLACE?
MY "WORK" BEFORE ELEMENTARY SCHOOL WAS FREE AND
ABANDONED, CREATIVE AND UNIQUE......THEN SCHOOL!
MAKE LETTERS AND NUMBERS JUST LIKE THE ONES MRS.
LAYMAN DRAWS BETWEEN THE LINES ON THE BLACKBOARD..
ON THE LINED TABLET ON MY DESK.....WITH THE DESIGNATED
PENCIL HARDNESS.......I ALWAYS PREFERRED THE MOTTLED
GREEN EBERHARDT PENCILS, KEPT VERY SHARP FOR THEIR
HARDNESS OF "2"......WHICH MADE FOR MESSY ERASURES,
BRINGING DOWN CENSURE.......I "WAS" TRYING TO CONFORM
AND FELT EXTREMELY UNEASY, SINCE MY WRITING WAS VERY
ODD.....LIKE I HAD LEARNED AT A KLINGON SCHOOL AND
MUST BE RESTRUCTURED TO FIT INTO AN EISENHOWER SOCIETY.
WELL......IT WAS NOT LONG BEFORE I WENT OUTSIDE THE LINES,
USED WHATEVER COLOR PAINTS WERE AVAILABLE, BEGAN MIXING COLORS
ON MY NEW MAPLE PALETTE AND EVENTUALLY JUST USED THE CANVASSES
IN WHATEVER WAY PLEASED ME........SO, EARLY IN MY DEVELOPMENT
I BECAME A BOHEMIAN NON-CONFORMIST.......I FOUND THIS ELEPHANT
PAINTING WITH SOME OTHERS THAT WERE STORED IN A CLOSET AT MY
MOTHER'S HOUSE......I SUPPOSE THAT "PAINT BY NUMBERS" ACTIVITIES
ACTUALLY LIBERATED ME, IN THE LONG RUN......ON THE WAY TO THE CABIN
IN NORTH GEORGIA, I ALWAYS STOP BY A REALLY JUNKY THRIFT STORE,
WHEREIN THE STORE MANAGER SPENDS HIS SPARE TIME COPYING, IN ACRYLICS,
SOME RATHER DULL AND UNINSPIRED PHOTOGRAPHS....HIS PAINTINGS ARE
NOT TOO FAR FROM THE PAINT BY NUMBERS......LAST WEEK, I ASKED HIM
(WE ARE THE SAME AGE) IF HE HAD EVER DONE "PBN"'S......AND HE REPLIED,
"I LOVED TO DO THEM, AND PAINTED HUNDREDS OF THEM".......FIGURES!