the reassurances of childhood are thwarted, early in The Game.....as even the Nursery Rhyme:
"Rock a bye baby, on the tree top,
When the wind blows the cradle will rock.
When the bough breaks the cradle will fall,And down will come baby, cradle and all."
Daedelus reminds.. even infants......of their temporality......thus, lowering their hopeful expectations.
Bronze is more lasting than Plumage.......
'Giant Steps' is 'What you take"... 11:13 pm.....On Staring at the Moon from the 'attic' window: ["There is no dark side of the moon, really"] Matter of fact....it's All dark. "The only thing that makes it look 'light' is the sun..." [Brain Damage, Eclipse: Pink Floyd] ....... Walk on the beach, with a blunt in your fingers, then, as the moon turns red, jump some synapses & ponder the origins of mystic fantasies; for, as the sky goes black, under this self-hypnotic spell, our ancient brains signal the newer cortexes...that the stars are pinholes in a velvet, dark Cosmos.....then pass, don't bogart, that joint.....It takes a long, long time to disregard preconceptions..passed, for countless generations, within the coils of DNA.... Whoever claimed that 'the sleeper must awaken'? (The bloodshot eyes, turning blue from the 'spice', melange?)
Pondering the 'dig in' area.....now, stacked with 'stuff' to find places for.....Good thing...that that auction of Metropolitan Opera costumes, six years ago, was cancelled! And...I'm not shopping for unworn getups from this year's reinstallment of the Grand Narcissists Show.... I'm out of hangers! and, too few big, parallel walls to hang Art upon......then, on to the retouching of the 'black light Milky Way murals that cover the bedroom and 'jacuzzi pit'......now, obscured by rolling racks of costuming and furniture......So much for that "Zen Room Plan'.....of an empty room, from which stars and nebulas emerge under the old black light that Eddie Sisk gave me, decades ago, to illuminate...in the dark.... that Jimi Hendrix 'Black Light Poster' that she also gave me..... Time to clean up this Mess, sit back, turn on Eddie's old 'black light' and trip the light fantastic to 'Daphne Of The Dunes' and some Japanese Koto and Wooden Flute Music.....No loss...Not a Celebrity, I would not have received a 'pass' to the Met Show, anyway....not in this relatively unspectacular outfit....suitable, only, for loungewear...while watching re-runs of RuPaul's Drag Show...
I'm not immune to emulating the activities and interests of Pop Icons........... Having a folding table tennis table installed in my parents 'recreation' room was a source of great social prestige in the early 1960's.........(yeah, sure!).......as was the foray into badminton, after watching "befuddled bungler, Bellamy B. Birdbrain" in an instructional film at the Lyric theater in the early 1950's..... or watching Paul Newman, hustling pool in The Hustler...leading to my getting a collapsable pool stick, in a lizard skin carrying case. My foray into 'computer/arcade games' ended with brief quarter-dropping into Centipede and Ms. Pacman, however........Too 'Virtual' for my tastes, I think......and some time wasted stoking blood pressure with Super Mario Bros...... Pick-up Sticks, anyone? Guess I'm a 'small court' guy....and the Bridge Table is just about perfect, if shuffling and dealing is enough exercise...........After all that practice, I never got to play with Frank, and my old ping-pong balls now serve another purpose, floating in the coffee-maker to indicate the water level......my old badminton was relegated to 'carpenter bee swatter' status. "Marbles", anyone?
'online' at 3am, a few years ago, to discover which, of many 'conditions', may have caused this failing vision......using my 'good' eye, which was normal.....it 'seems' that just about every site was either promoting some 'eye doctor/clinic' or some 'drug/eyedrops'.....OR telling the reader to get to a hospital ASAP, for fear of having a stroke, macular degeneation, sudden deterioration of the eye, abrasion/scratching of the lens....and on an on....(more fuel for Anxiety)....."screw all of THAT", I thought, as I flooded my eyeball socket with ten year old prescription eyedrops and saline solution.....eventually, dislodging a tiny speck of what 'looked like' a bit of mayflower fly's wing......Now, back to normal, and listening to NPR during a morning caffeine fix, I was a bit amused to hear people discussing 'baby's 'milk' Formula Anxiety' that seems to be sweeping America while Nancy Pelosi makes her appearance, as U.S.'s highest ranking 'representative', to allay our Anxiety about the Russian takeover over of our newest Alliance in Central Europe.....Oh, I see!
Today is the anniversary of the death of Ansel Adams, the David Attenborough of Photography.......I've written to Anthony Hopkins about his potentially 'playing' Ansel in a not as yet imagined biographical film...... In my teens, as an aspiring photographer, I purchased Adam's books on Zone Theory...."The Camera", "The Negative" and "The Print"....and journeyed to NYC to stand before his beautiful photographs at The Light Gallery......my hyper-vigilance, however, brought me to notice the 'spot toning' that the artist had done on just about all his photographs!.....He wasn't 'PERFECT'!.....There was Hope for me, who had little confidence, then.... On my return, I immediately purchased, via a Photographic Supplies catalog, three vials of spot toner, a bottle of selenium bromide paper toner and a cheap Calumet view camera and tripod......
pulling up weeds in the driveway and yard.......I kept this photo of my 'contact dermatitis', the modern day 'leprosy', episode, 11 years ago.....the poison ivy and oak are just sending out their leaves, but the prickly holly is ready to cause some serious issues with my sensitive, thin integument......time for another hot, soapy shower, and some epsom salts in a warm tub, later......and, to think, my ancestors lived in the jungles and plains, beset with poisonous 'stuff'......then, we travelled further North and our DNA must have forgotten about the 'poisonous' plants, nearer the equator.......You'd think that 'living in the South' for a dozen generations would have established a better immune system to deal with this issue....this oozing issuance......
"cystic fibrosis"; "mercurial temperament"; "existential ideology"; "admonish vs. astonish"; "do my variables lead to higher contentment?"; "Macauleyfuzzylogic... a thingamajig"
EVERY day is Atheist day, for me, anyway....not just this coming Monday....So....there have been lots of celebrations of God(s) during my Live. When I was 13......(I remember the morning when 'all that' vanished from my perspectives......8th Grade....) My 'home room' class was 'led' into its then legislated compulsory prayer and 'pledge of allegiance to 'The United States Of America" that morning...like all other 'mornings' in the Alabama Public School System; then, an hour later, we were off to the Auditorium, single file, where some guest religious speaker was to proselytize (after the 'system' had 'outlawed' a 16MM sex education film (that I'd rather have seen....for sure!) ........My then still latent 'disbelief' was 'outed' by all that morning's demonstration of religious faith.......I felt so relieved that 'GOD'' was dead and I was free to think as I wished.....and, besides, hormones had begun to ravish my brain, which had far more interesting ideas to occupy it....a few years later, at 15, I watched the movie, Inherit The Wind, which nailed the 'Religion' coffin, stuffed full of dogma, shut...In '10th grade' I read Origin of Species and The Interpretation Of Dreams...and that was that! Interestingly, both of these books were 'banned' by the School System, and were conspicuously absent from the School Library.........I believed that 'we' were just some more monkeys......In 1963, now a student at Vanderbilt, my thoughts and ideas were reified by Dr. David Nunnally, who first introduced 'Genetics' and 'Evolutionary Biology' to the SYSTEM........
on the screen for a couple of seconds, before a needed rerun of Samantha Bee's FULL FRONTAL show, .....a little message from Chuck Lorre, perhaps.....applicable at any time, to a number of situational considerations......{a scene from the film, DARLING, came to mind.....wherein Julie Christie loses her 'cool'....the 'escalator scene'}....[although I've not seen the film in several decades].......an example of how the aging brain's storage and retrieval mechanisms operate.......whereas, a scene from a film that I watched, only yesterday, has found no lodging place within my cerebral foldings....already congested with words and images, whole constructs of thought processing, embedded associational linkages and rationalizing tinker-toys.....constantly reformatted, like plastic molecules, filling the weak chemical bonds of ideational memory....Now, back to listening to the 'worth a penny' buck being passed around during this morning's Senate Hearings.......each snollygoster trying to fit it in into their already-cramped political wallet, crammed with 'the real Gold money'....Take out some fresh, wet 'big bills'.....they can buy an apology from DJT, if they empty their swollen coin purses to the marble floors, as they feign incessant apologies to their constituents with the perpetual vomitus of legalese.......At a profound level, it's not anyone's 'fault'...it is everyone's......'Oh, I'm sorry....did I brush against your sleeve?'.....
Listening to a NPR re-broadcast of a rather boring program about 'the importance of regular SLEEP HABITS', yesterday, I decided to hit the sack, early....for me.....9 pm.... Awakening, full of ideas, I drug out a drawing tablet to doodle and scribble for an hour....then, returned to horizontal positioning for another hour, awakening again....alert and 'ready to go'.....However, since I WAS, after all, trying to sleep 'straight through' the night, I felt rather frustrated by my insomnia and turned on the TV to watch Frank Pavich's documentary, "Jodorowsky's Dune", with H.R. Giger and Michel Seydoux......which led me to search the internet for a hard-bound copy of Jodorowsky's PROPOSAL for filming his Version of DUNE......then, on my phosphoresent watch dial: 3AM!.... so, rather than pursue some alert activity, I listened to some boringly relaxing recording of Tibetan singing bowls and raindrops on the Lake of Melancholia, eventually....returning to slumberland and the usual Lucid Dreaming.......Voila!....now, in the world of dreams, like Little Nemo, I could both 'sleep', 'rest' and have intellectually challenging experiences within cerebral cortex's electrical interchange......The subsequential DREAM was both uplifting, optimistic and charged with creative energies...and will be discharged, later, in an Update, from last night's shorthand notes on my 'scibblepad'.....I awakened.....bladder shouting for emptying.....thinking, it must be midnight!......but, the see-in-the-dark hands of my watch 'said' 8:30......Hungry, I thought, then, that I should make some dinner........Then, leaving my unlit cave with no windows, emerging into another room, lit by light from a large window....I was confused, wondering why, at 8:30 PM, during Winter, the Sun Was Up!......I was still asleep....and all this was but a Dream......as I stumbled, sleepwalking in the dark, over a pile of DVD's that I'd been sorting, earlier, yesterday, falling into a big plastic storage box, positioned under the hole in my roof, through which rainwater accumulated as it dripped/ran through a ripped out plaster wall.......Was I, still, asleep? Was this, too, part of my labyrinthin Dream? Guess 'NOT', as i showered, donned some dry pajamas and slippers and descended the stairs to microwave a coffee cup cheese omelet and pump some expresso........Certainly, now, I am 'actually' awake, and almost ready to write and illustrate last night's Dream....the part not mentioned 'here'....for one of my Blogs...about Dreaming......Lest all be forgotten as Time separates the instantaneous from the mundane repetions of ordinariness and the interiorized conceits from the far less metaphoric lineup of sequential proceedings between the markers of The Clock..... It's almost 9 AM! Times-a-wasting and the black India ink in my 000-tip pen has clogged its point....maybe, a dip into the last drop of expresso will get it 'running' ......... Go without
remember the adage: 'the last taste is the last forgotten'.....and that is never parsnip latkes with lox and horseradish creme....is it?
