When there no longer exists with any surety a definitive point of reference, be it religious, philosophical, or even aesthetic; and, as conjecture displaces the self-certainty of the subject, existential anxiety produces ego-centric theories of conspiracy that tend to ground the fearful, confidentless and isolated individuals in a world with some seemingly rational realm of devious plotting wherein paranoia drives this psychology of suspicion, fueling, in turn, the desperate searches for structure as a grand narrative of meaningfulness to superimpose upon the chaotic disorder and incomprehensibility of the human condition....Now in my middle 60's, the existential despair seems to build, relentlessly, upon my own inability to shred the tissue of lies that covers personal interactions and amasses, through willing collaborations, to enshroud any potential for clarity and openness, like a poisoned and paralyzed butterfly, trapped within the spider's cocoon of silky vapors that floats from the moors of dark imaginings.........
Ambiencellist Part II by Claire Fitch
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