a brief, detailed diary entry

thursday: 3:23 a.m. the nitelight behind the tv detains my attentions in the shadows,

until the diversions of small indicators on other electronic components, thermostats, cellphone...smoke alarm...become a host of stars--36 tiny green, yellow and blue attentioning distractions from deep sleep....then there is the blood rushing through my veins, tinnitus, thirst, the bladder's demand, the cat's report on the moth floating in her waterbowl. yet, all these things that call me from slumber may serve to divert my anxiety from unknown terrors hidden in my unconscious.....but this is the more frequent path taken in early morning,and preferred to an abrupt awakening to the continuum of temporality.....then i am asleep again, or have never awakened....yes, i am dreaming of these little lights, for i have awakend in a dark room....no, wait.....as i turn my head, a plasma light appears from behind a treetrunk, and i am sucked into some vast fractal universe that was created by morgan, and in whose beauty i am lost.....it seems a perfect mathematical expression of my essense....and i am in love with the expression of this equation. as i fall through space and in and out of countless fields of numbers which, ever-changing, create the night sky of my imagination and upon which i project my emotions into fractal chaos, i do not think to grasp the ring that comes around to remind me that it has come around a million times before and that my grasping for it will crush my hope for perfection.

3:23.001 a.m. i realize that this dream is a vehicle...and going behind a small dot of glitter, fallen from an old carnival mask, and pressing the metallic mirror to the world of dreams in my tiny hands, to capture the light from the blue flying saucer button of the media-center pc, i am returned a mllionth time to this reminder from earthworld yet fly away before the mind's interpolation back into my bedroom world, to emerge in another mysterious world,seen, more detailed than before....and so minute that it's evolution, vast as it seems, does not fill even a fraction of the new space in which it has appeared.




    Ambitronika L1 by Petar Alargic