From a draft of a letter sent to someone, to whom I had some prior attachment, who was, and is, incapable of expressing, with words or images, either their thoughts or feelings......of innocence, or experience....regarding their 'loss'......and my own.......
"I was just watching the "dance" scene from a film adaptation of a 19th C. Jane Austin novel. ....... the conversation, both polite and telling...... direct, yet distant.... another time, in which i would be more comfortable....... and you, i think.... i am such an obsolete device of nature......and, frustrated, cast aspersions to the deaf and the blind, who, diverted by simpler conceits, beg the answers in the questions.......fallal reason insuring the needed delusions.....i have lost your parents.....soon, they will be quite distant.....must life be such a catered affair, with each guest bringing the old, dead arrangements from ancient parties? sigh! i hope that you and i do not drift apart, as we have not yet established a foundation that would support the types of relationship that either of us would prefer......a tip of the hat is for passersby on the boulevards of civilized society......i prefer a telling glance, forever renewed by change of course and the redirection of dreams by the truths of Life..... as maddening as this way of life can be... sometimes i am Shelly's Prometheus, drifting into the endless enigma of this temporal jungle; yet, in a second, and for one, i see the all that 'is' in a moment of plastic inevitability, and nothing more.....i have my eyes wide open, though somewhat near-sighted by age; my ears tuned to the timbre of voice, yet listening to the lark's calling and the titmouse in the berry bush...... the great, voracious birds circle, eying my stumbling, and still i tip-toe across the River on stones left by those who went before........instructions, written on the wind, blow 'bout the world of dreaming and i awaken where i was before the world changed.....i've lost the sextant and must travel by intuition.........i've heard tell of a golden compass......... the magic stones, lost in the pool of an ancient waterfall..... the maps hidden in an uncharted desert........of gods in the clouds, on mountains and far away.........but, i was told in a dream from who knows where......that all we need to know is embedded within the helix changed by countless mix..........today, the sunlight draws the crocus and hyacinth into the cool air, then the cactus blooms of summer, the musty autumn and then the frozen realms beyond, from which the breath of tomorrow emerges......."
1 comment:
as the connective tissues beneath epidermal layering disappear, the surface of the past is revealed.......and, beneath this surface....the core of our lives......pulsing, blue.......contained by an increasingly delicate, thin membrane......
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