Jaff und Ellen

TRASH MUSEUM PROSPECTUS

just imagine, will you, a formal reservoir for the detritus of society.....elevated, by resourceful display and lighting techniques to places of importance....labyrinths of ordinary, cast-off junk, spun-off hubcaps; artfully crushed cigarette butts, arranged by the most brilliant window dressers; PhD's to catalog and conserve this magnificent treasurehouse of otherwise neglected wonder.......but, maybe not....we already have television's largesses of advertisements, on endless loops....late at night..... ensconced in video museums....and all the hall of fame museums....well, museums for just about everything that we elevate in meaning and significance......so...why not a Trashmuseum.....we must think it very important or else why would we create such vast amounts of it?

THE TECHNOLOGICAL ROAD TO BLISS

I'VE BEEN CONTINUALLY "UPGRADING" THE "STEREO"....AND NOW THE "HOME THEATRE".......SINCE 1959, WHEN I RECEIVED MY FIRST GE PORTABLE STEREO WITH FOLD-OUT SPEAKERS IN TAN LEATHERETTE....COMPLETE WITH CONTROLS FOR BALANCE, TONE AND VOLUME.....AND A "PING-PONG" PERCUSSION ALBUM.......BY 1964 I HAD CONSTRUCTED A COMPLETE SYSTEM FROM EICO AND HEATHKIT DO-IT-YOURSELF KITS AND MY FIRST MAJOR PURCHASE AFTER COLLEGE WAS A PAIR OF KLH-12'S WITH OCTAVE-EQUALIZERS, A THORENS TABLE WITH A v-15 MAGNETIC CARTRIDGE MOUNTED IN A SHURE SME TONE ARM, AND A MARANTZ QUADRAPHONIC RECEIVER........THE SYSTEM HAS GONE THROUGH NUMEROUS....AND I MEAN "NUMBEROUS" EVOLUTIONS TO MY CURRENT PROCESSOR DESIGNED BY RICHARD FOSGATE..........I COULD NEVER AFFORD THE EXTREME HIGH-END EQUIPMENT, BUT HAVE ALWAYS SOUGHT THE BEST SOUND, AND NOW "PICTURE" THAT I COULD OBTAIN..........BUT THERE HAS ALWAYS BEEN THE LURE OF THE HIGHEST AND BEST-SOUNDING TECHNOLOGY..........BUT MY PRACTICAL NATURE STEPS IN AND SAYS, "ENOUGH!" NOW, THE INTERCONNECTING CABLES ARE FAR MORE COSTLY THAN MY FIRST EQUIPMENT.....AND I CAN REMEMBER ACTUALLY USING THE SPEAKER WIRE AND INTERCONNECTS THAT CAME WITH THE EQUIPMENT..........BOTH HIGH-RESOLUTION SOUND AND VIDEO ARE HERE, FINALLY.....PURPLE VELVET TO MY EYES AND EARS........AHHHH.......


The Art of Analog Diversion by Stargarden

SPRING RESOLUTIONS * IT'S A MATTER VIEWPOINT, ISN'T IT?

I'VE BEEN FAR TOO CYNICAL, LATELY..........THE NEW GARDINER IS WEARING A GUN BENEATH HIS JACKET......THIS MORNING, THERE WERE OVER 100 CIGARETTE BUTTS ON THE STRIP OF LAND ON THE STREET SIDE OF THE SIDEWALK, TEENAGERS, DRIVING BY, TOSSED A COKE IN MY HAIR.........I SEE A RECLUSIVE LIFE AHEAD....NO! NO! STOP THAT!! ...IT'S A BRIGHT, CLEAR DAY, YET IT'S RAINING DISAPPOINTMENT........I MADE A RESOLUTION, JUST NOW, TO LOOK ON THE SUNNIER SIDE OF LIFE, AS I HAVE BEEN INCREASINGLY PESSIMISTIC FOR THE LAST 3 MONTHS OR SO...
TODAY IS SO VERY BEAUTIFUL......THE SONGBIRDS ARE FILLING THE AIR WITH MATING AND TERRITORIAL VOICES, THE CAMELLIAS FILL THE HUGE BUSH BY THE POND AND GREEN IS OVERTAKING THE BROWNY-YELLOW OF WINTER.....MY HOUSEPLANTS ARE BASKING IN THE AFTERNOON SUN AND THE CAT IS WATCHING THE FISH EMERGE FROM THEIR STILLNESS TO JUMP FOR THE FIRST FLYING INSECTS OF THE YEAR....I AM RESOLVED TO BE MORE POSITIVE IN MY RELATIONSHIP TO THE EVENTS OF LIFE.........

I'VE BEEN RANTING, HAVEN'T I?

now, i feel guilty and feel that i will have no friends if i let them know how disgusted i feel by their gratuitous abuse........."they" will only like me as long as i enable "them" to feel good about themselves and enable their using me for a convenient scapegoat....i don't want to be a monkey! i want to be a butterfly....without first being a caterpillar! i feel so dissociated and antisocial right now......this will pass when a little baby smiles at me from a grocery cart.....or a wren flies in the door and rests on the back of the old rocking chair..............

CAN I BORROW YOUR HEART? I'LL RETURN IT WHEN I'M THROUGH WITH IT!

just when i was making an effort to minimalize cynicism and suppress my critical nature, i was awakened by the first of many telephone calls...yesterday morning, around 5 a.m....
i cannot remember a day of my life in which i received so many calls........as soon as i hung up, another call came in.......finally, around 12:30, i turned both my cell and home phones OFF! this was NOT because i was annoyed by the plethora of calls, but because of the nature of them........EVERYONE wanted something of me.......One caller, who left urgent-sounding messages twice of my home phone and then on my cell, seemed very anxious......so i returned the call......this is what i heard: "I called you, but you must have been busy!" so i returned the call and heard, immediately, " What are you doing around 6:30?" a bit suspicious of the tone of voice, i replied "Whatever I like, i'm sure." then my friend "asked"...."I thought i would bring by the memory stick from my camera and have you photoshop and print the pics for me......and you could also make copies for some friends at work." Why did i find this irritating?
So, following my own New Year's Resolution not to be taken advantage of by my friends, i replied that neither the time or the project was suitable and offered my friend the rare opportunity to lug some boxes to the Goodwill tomorrow morning.......of course my friend declined, as this did not directly benefit that person.........I was asked to lunch....and went....to be asked if i had a "spare" DVD player that person number 2 could borrow......I was asked to attend 3 art openings in hopes that my eccentric and interesting personality would benefit either the gallery owners prestige or make the artists seem "cooler" by presenting me as "one of my very best friends"......I loaned another a sander that i will probably have to ask for the return of....that i had intended to use today.......i was asked to "loan" another friend some art and some furniture and was asked, by the same person, if i had a laptop that i could spare! this morning, another friend came by to use my washer and dryer.......during the wash, we went to breakfast......and i had to pay, since my friend "must have left my wallet on the dresser, at home"......this morning, i watched two young women picking flowers in my front yard and an itinerant drunk asked if i could spare some bucks......didn't this use to be "change"........and promised to come by "at a later date, of course" and pick up cigarette butts and debris tossed , daily, into my yard from passerby autos.......I was asked, in an e-mail......if i could "loan" some large plants to a friend who had killed the last bunch that i gave her......is "cynical" the word for how all this....and more, of course, that i'm too unmotivated to mention......made me feel? ...............i'm back......a neighbor stopped by to borrow my lawnmower..........the telephone's ringing........there!.......i unplugged it!

COUSIN BOBO

bonobos will share resources in situations where assistance from their friends or family members is required........they are aware of ethics and moral obligation...they grieve over lost love and friendships and seldom struggle over property, access to sex mates or ideology.......but, unfortunately, WE are more closely related to the more barbaric chimpanzees.......who are not generally as agreeable...........