Wednesday, July 13, 2022

BEFORE IT'S ALL FORGOTTEN AND NO SEARCH CAN REDISCOVER THE LOST VOYAGE WITHIN SEMI-CONSCIOUSNESS......



Already, but....fortunately, not 'completely',  the surrealist 'momentary journey' through the illusory clouds of last night's dream.....well, that part, before the dawn of awakeness, anyway....(and, I can tell, already, that this is going to be both difficult to reassemble and uncertainly vaguely  twisting and turning back into the folds of my old brain's convolutedly semi-comprehensible foldings, short-circuits and dead ends) {c'mon, c'mon....cold-dripped coffee, octane-boosted with black strap molasses, cinnamon bark and honey-drippings}.....No!  Stop!  (while it's still in unsustained focus)    A scene:   Annette Bening, in her Merteul drag, alternating/looping and oscillating/channelling Barbara Land, Sarah Turner and Myra Langtry.....desperately going through a rusting rack of my old theatrical costumes that  hanging, within this sequence,  in tall, vertical trunk drawers...imaged from an old Cocteau/Bunuel-Dali Film .......her tight, aubergine pig-skin gloves with enormous pearl buttons through failing fabric.....attempting to remove a medieval laced restraining corset, overlaid with Battenburg lace.....as it disintegrates in her gloved fingers,,,,,The revolving door, one side of what had been the 'closet',  responding to Annettes desperation, turning transformationally,  into the World on The Other Side, as the Frame falls away....and I am 'camera-drawn' into The Interior.......disappointedly, a Suburban Model Home of Vast Size, performed in synthetic marble and plastic granite, plastic pilasters and painted foam-core Renaissance Arches.....Arletty flashes by, wearing her costume from the Funambules' crowd scene of Children Of Paradise,  where I first met her......Annette had 'become' Garance.....and was distracting me from Concentration by magically changing Baptiste into Peter Turner, oscillating with scratched, fading 16mm frames with disintegrating acetate sprockets....of all the beautiful men whose images are recorded in the lizard memory folds of my 'old' brain.........THEN, awakening with moist forehead and crusty eyes, in this morning's 'real world', having rolled in the turmoil of soon-to-have-been somnambulist wandering across the clunky robot watch that I'd taken from my wrist and tossed to my mattress.......Ouch!.....right on that festering mole on my back!.......So....up, to get a tube of analgesic to quell this refocusing of attention.......hearing nightbirds singing through the gaping hole in the walll....I realized that I was NOT awake, but STILL within the Dream Within A Dream, when Annette, now calm from her frustrated attempts to don the antique corset, gathered me up in her Aura, as I spun in some opium cloud, falling through the clouds, hand-in-hand with 'Smike', whom I had to protect from injury and we were directed, via megaphone,  by Nick Nickleby.........The Marbles were rolling.......a Voice....that of an annoying 'narrator' in some Pop Film that had not the intelligence of good screen-writing, so required constant plot explanation from Reese Witherspoon and Matt Damon, co-joined, like Tweedle-De and Dum.......Of course, this is a Dream.....and, occasionally, aware....even within the dream or the Dreams within those......I could, semi-consciously, redirect the Confusions to simpler paths of Forking Paths rather than incomprehensible metaphoric, seemingly random excursions,  each falling from the cliffs of others, through the countless opening/closing doors/windows into the kernal of repressed memories and suppressed emotions.....Fuck!....I must be Awake, now!.....I'm beginning to analyze this Mess that I awakened from, just in time to hear the mounting wall of vehicle noise, vibrating the loose tin flashing on the other side of my bedroom wall........I'll go down and 'write this down'....which I'm doing, now.....before it vanishes....and is replaced with some memory of having spent the night peeling radishes and stuffing celery stalks with cheese and pimentos........The Stomach Rules........supplanting Emotional Hunger.......Sliced, candied beef tongue with roasted yellow corn!.......Whew.....that was in the 'other feature'......with Julia Childs, played...in drag...by Andrew Zimmern......O.K.  I'll give up that memory, if I could fill the emptied space with the rest of the Annette Bening Saga........

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