NO ONE HAS EVER ACCUSED ME OF HAVING THEM, FOR I AM FAR TOO RUDELY OUTSPOKEN......ACTUALLY, I AM OFFENDED BY POLITE BEHAVIOR THAT BORDERS ON THE LACK OF TRUTHFULNESS, ALTOGETHER....BOTH MY MOTHER AND MY GRANDMOTHER WOULD WINCE, AND SOMETIMES PINCH OR KICK ME, UNDER THE TABLE - OF COURSE, WHEN THEY FEARED THAT I WAS, YET AGAIN, GOING TO "OFFEND" SOME SENSITIVE SOUL WITH MY LACK OF RESTRAINT AND GOOD MANNERS........FEW PREFER THE TRUTH TO THE TISSUE OF WHITE LIVES UPON WHICH THEIR EXISTENCE DEPENDS....... NEVERTHELESS, EMILY POST HAS SOME GOOD ADVICE FOR FORMAL SOIREES; PROTOCOLS FOR NOT OFFENDING SNOBBISH TYPES BY RECOGNIZING, PUBLICLY, THEIR STATUS AND IMPORTANCE....I PREFER A MORE "NATURAL" APPROACH TO ETIQUETTE, ALTHOUGH I FREQUENTLY GLARE DOWN FROM MYLORDLY POSITION AT OTHER'S OFFENSIVE POSTURINGS.......EXCUSE ME WHILE I LIFT MY THIGH TO FART....PINKIES UP!
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